depression

I am miserably depressed... I feel like... something so bland.  I feel like there is no point to move on... like I just should give up.  I just cant express what its like really.  I dont have any desire... well I take that back.. I have desire, but I feel like I can never accomplish what I want and need to accomplish.  Ive made myself partially someone else... but the problem is I didnt have an identity to begin with.  I want to travel... to experience things... but to do that you have to have money... and to have money you have to deal with a lot of hurtful things.  I really dont want to hurt anyone... I want to help people.. but you cant help people without money either.
See... I wish that I could go all over the world and make people happy... but that I could be happy at the same time... I wish that there was a way that I could just do everything that I love... I know that there are people who get paid to do the things that they love... but how do they get in those positions?  What do they do just happen to stumble upon lady luck?
I want to play the piano, I want to draw and paint.  I want to write a book... I want to travel the world, try food from europe, asian, south american, anywhere I can find.  I want to have lunch in a Buddhist monastery,  I want to go to college at Harvard and study philosophy.  I dont want to go to ETSU and learn useless things that Im not going to use.  I want to study what Im interested in... I want to learn what I can use, and will use.  I dont want to learn knowledge that will just go away.
I want to study light, and how it affects the world around us... what its made out of... what it can do... how it affects colors and visual affects...
I want to study magic, I want to be able to perform little magic tricks with great skill, to entertain myself and both those I love.
I want to write a book... not really for any other reason that just to write a book.  would it really do good?

Bubble and roses floating in tea cups

Do you ever have days when you feel like you could skip from lily pad to lily pad? 
Sometimes I think we should all get on our magic carpets and go to the land where you can jump through mirrors and breath underwater.  You can dance with faeries and swim with mermaids!  You don't need wings to fly because you can wish how high you want to go.  The stars sing songs to you, and the moon hums a lullaby.  There is no such thing as sleep because when you dream you re awake in today's reality.  Your dreams are your home and your here is your dreams.  No truth can be known because there is nothing that is not so!   Whats wrong with drinking wine from rose petals?  And sitting to chat with the little sparks and chimes.  
I live in a world where teardrops turn to bubbles and roses come to say good morning and cheer you up!  Where teacups fill themselves with the finest tea imported from Brazil.  
Come stay with me and watch the sun rise into the ocean, and set into the sky.  

Art

I was looking at one of my old friends artwork... and I started thinking... she is sooo talented, I've really not put that much effort into my art... but I'm going to start dedicating my life to it, because I really do love it so much, and I believe where you even have a spark of talent, you should really embrace and fulfill what you want.  So I guess you could say this is a moment where I am deciding... that I am going to start working on my art every day.  And I'm not going to let anything hold me back.  I know I'm not the best, I'm not even in the top, but when I finish... I want to be in the top.  
Yeah... sounds good. 

Accepted to ETSU!!!!

Right now I am sooo happy.  I just got off work, but early today I found out that I have been officially accepted to the East Tennessee State University!  I knew that I would get accepted, but I think it is completely awesome that they've actually told me.
I'm really really wanting to major in Art... I love art so much... I wish there was something I could do to major in Writing as well because I adore writing (even though I don't let anyone see my writings) and I don't think that I'm very bad at it when I'm in the mood to do it.  Hehe.
But anyway... If everything keeps working out like this... I don't know what I'll do!  This is the best luck I've had in like... well my entire life!  I have a job, an apartment, I'm going to be going to a wonderful school getting to major in something that I love more than anything, I'm with the love of my life, I'm getting along with my parents... I mean really... right now in this moment things have never been more perfect for me than they are right now.  I can truly say, I. Am. Happy!


I hope that anyone who reads this is having an wonderful night <3
Don't forget all the many ways you can contact me!
Email:arioncrystaline@gmail.com


G'night Mates!

Drawing

Okay so I'm new to DeviantArt, and the first freaking person who starts talking to me decides to accuse me of tracing my work.  Sheesh.  Anyway, here is the link to my DeviantArt if you would like to check it out.  http://arioncrystal.deviantart.com/
Tell me whatcha think.  >.<
Anywho, I just let them know that I did not trace my work and that I did look at others work sometimes to draw.  Mostly because I love the angles they use, and the best way I think to learn to draw new angles is by looking at them.
Anywhoo's.  I'm going to see my dad today.  Wish me luck with all of that.
I really need to figure out a way to find other people on here, because I kind of feel like I'm talking to myself lol.

Money and other thoughts...

Usually money comes pretty easy for me... I mean it seems like whenever I truly need it, it just appears from no where.  Either some random person gives it to me, or I happen to wind up being able to sell something for a pretty penny... although I much, much rather have money of my own, that I earned, because then you feel what you have is truly yours.. .and not something that someone just handed to you.  Although I will admit, gifts are nice, but I would much rather have something that I paid for, just because of me.

Anyway... today I would love to go see my dad.  He lives in Kentucky and I am in Tennessee.  Its not too far, about two hours.  But I'm trying to find a way to get there right now.  I really hope that I do get there because I would absolutely HATE to have to tell him that I can't, I've had to do that so many times throughout my life, and I've stopped doing it, and that's the way that I want it to stay.

New to blogging

I'm really new to this, but I wanted a place that I could post my thoughts, theories, and anything else about me without having to worry about what people think... or to find out what people think and not worry about meeting them.  Well either way, hello, my name is Melody.  You can call me that, or Arion, or Kitsune, whichever you please I'm called both ^.^Anyway I'm an odd person, I'm kind of shy in person, but I really like to talk to people if they give me the chance.  

I love anime, and scify things.  I also love drawing, it's pretty much my life.  I write too, which I will probably be doing some writing on here.. 
Anyway you can add me on Yahoo Messenger if you'd like, Im Xxsilver_kitsune_arionxX on there, kinda new to yahoo because I've not had my own personal computer very long.. 
Anyway, looking forward to posting more in the near future, and maybe talking to someone who wanders across this.